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...oys speech. Wait a minute, she interrupted him. As who says?Vladimir pointed a clammy-looking finger at a table where Sherri and Terri exchanged gossip from opposite ends. As they say, was his response.Hmm, said Lisa, narrowing her eyes.He made a hint of a smile. They say such things because they are jealous, he said, reaching stiffly for a food tray.Jealous of me? said Lisa.Yes, said Vladimir. They are two of a kind, but you are unique.He called me unique, Lisa gushed to herself. My heart hasnt pounded so wildly since I was accepted into Mensa!Vladimir looked up at a visage even more grim and death-like than his own, that of Lunch Lady Doris. Whatll it be, Igor? she rasped.He glanced over the culinary selectionsa brown mass that was labeled MYSTERY MEAT, and a scarlet ooze identified as MYSTERY VEGETABLE. I will have the red okra, please, he stated.The what? said Doris, taken aback.What you call Mystery Vegetable is called red okra in my country, Vladimir explained. And what you call Mystery Meat is also known as textured soy protein.The cafeteria lady gave the earnest-faced boy a blank stare. Ill be damned, was all she managed.The kids ahead of Vladimir whirled, their jaws hanging in stupefaction. Hehe stammered Lewis. He knows what the mystery meat is!Textured soy protein, huh? said...
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